Answers!

A Diagnosis

Today was my chiropractor appointment. Sitting there in the waiting room, I suddenly got awfully nervous. Any time I am going into an unknown situation, I get anxiety. Particularly if it involves doctors—I’m not sure why. Going to the chiropractor is a lot different than most doctor visits though, and you find out answers a million times faster (as long as your body wants to reveal facts), yet still I get sick butterflies before.

The appointment went great, and I found out a lot; more than I expected.

Guess what? I do have h. pylori. I DO! I feel like I have found the final answer to everything. It makes complete sense in every single way.

We were also able to pick up a parasite, as well a certain strain of Lyme. It was brought to light that I need to avoid wheat (like I have been), oats, dairy and soy. I had already figured I would have to remove dairy from my diet (because h. pylori feeds off of it), so I didn’t buy any dairy products when I went shopping last. I will end up eating more fruits and veggies because of that I’m sure.

I laughed all the way home from the chiropractor’s. Anyone else who has had any type of chronic illness will know exactly how I was feeling! When you go so long without concrete answers to your problems—problems that keep you from experiencing life to its fullest—that when you finally get an answer that yes, something IS wrong that you can fix, you can’t help but feel overjoyed.

While I danced around back at my apartment, a cluster of blissful “thank you”-s continued to tumble out of my giggling, cheeky grin. I felt so grateful in that moment. I knew this day would come—and it did!

Where are my doubts?

I have tried many things in the last few, troubling years. Many things helped, some not so much.

I have gotten answers before—answers that just ended up being a result of another unknown cause. A deficiency here, an imbalance there. We’d fix the problem, and the biggest symptom (fatigue) would stay the same.

Remember when I wrote this? :

“I am still in the early stages of working on reflex integration and learning about it, but I really do believe I have finally found the answer to my problems. I have been learning to trust my instincts, gut feelings and whatever intuition I have over the last year, and whenever I have a feeling about something nowadays, I’m usually right.”

Obviously I wasn’t completely cured after getting my reflexes integrated. So what if this is just another one of those answers, which has another big, underlying cause to it?

That is one fear that every now and then pokes its ugly head into my face, and sobs for attention. Well now is my moment to kill him into the dirt.

The Way I See It

There were no “things” I could have done differently to get me further ahead than I am today. God has a plan for each and every person; and while we are given our brains to make our own choice, God is still at the head of the line, and every outcome in our lives happen exactly as they are meant to.

Why my progress has been debilitating and slow can only be for my own good. I feel like I have gotten 15 years smarter in the last three years—maybe not in Trigonometry or Business Law, but in things that actually matter a whole lot in life. And about our main goal in Life: happiness. And also natural healing (can’t forget that one!).

Each time in the past when I was given another clue as to what was causing my health problems, I was still at a point in life where I didn’t know where I wanted to be, or who I was.

I felt like I was beholden to other people and I had to please others. I was such a perfectionist that if I didn’t feel like I could do something perfectly, I wouldn’t even start it in the first place.

I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to do with my life, and I thought there was a problem with that. I felt like life was passing me by, while I was stuck in the mud and couldn’t move forward.

What has changed? A butt load, that’s what.

I know where I want to be: exactly where I am. I have come to know myself quite well, and I now have goals and things to look forward to; I no longer feel afraid of the future.

I now no longer try to please others. The real truth is that no matter how hard you try, you will never please those critics who are never satisfied with anything. Those who are like that have deeper issues with themselves than you can imagine, and since they not only feel like they aren’t good enough, they have a tendency to make others feel like they aren’t either. Now that I understand that, I know that whatever I do is ENOUGH.

I now have a pretty good idea on the things I want to do during my life. I realize I have always wanted to do them, but now they feel like plans, not merely dreams. I am also completely satisfied with the knowledge that my plans could change at any time—for whatever reason I might decide that I want to do something else instead.

I have done things that I never would have done four months ago, such as starting this blog. I am definitely more certain of myself than before, and yet while I still have a little ways to go, I know that a lot of my anxiety and worries are caused by my h. pylori (and the other things).

I definitely have to give a lot of credit to Myra Moyryla, who has helped me so much in not only integrating my reflexes, but also for correcting other imbalances, removing certain fears, and for all her little but profound and insightful pep-talks.

There was without a doubt a multilayered reason why I was to go to her. And I do not regret the time it took for me to get to the answers I got today—it did not take away from my healing process: it was a big part of it. Healing does not happen solely in the physical body. I feel it must happen in the mind and spirit as well, which did indeed happen for me.

My theory as to why the answers didn’t appear sooner while muscle testing at the chiropractor, is because my body wasn’t ready to work on this part of the healing yet. I think correcting my reflexes has helped in moving things along, but also my attitude and the removal of a lot of fear. Also, the body can become overloaded with too many things to work on at once; and soon before the long break I took from the chiropractor, I had just gotten rid of a parasite, was focusing on eating without the foods I was sensitive to, and I had a lot of active Moro and Fear Paralysis reflexes going on.

I won’t pretend to know all the answers; I don’t. But if I’ve ever been certain of anything in my life, I am certain now that I have touched down on some tremendous answers, and am starting on the pathway to some major healing. I will patiently wait for all the good that is to come!

And I am Thankful

Everyone has their trials in this life. Pretty much every being has at least one big, troubling, and difficult trial that is exceedingly challenging to overcome. And yet while I feel like most other people have their biggest tests later in life, I see it as a blessing that this particular hardship in my life came while I am still young.

I may have missed out on some “fun” in my teen years, but I have gained so much more than any of those exciting times could have given me.

I have found a strong passion for pure, natural, primal health. A deep ambition to live life to its fullest, to follow my dreams, and to do whatever brings me the most happiness.

I have learned that Life isn’t about being the smartest, being the wealthiest, or climbing the “ladder” to be at the top of whatever job field you have entered. It’s not about the money. It’s not about the rat-race.

I have learned that your self-confidence and self-esteem shouldn’t be placed in any physical attributes or intelligence. You should know that you are worthy of happiness and any possible thing—simply because you ARE. You are one of Gods children—a human being made perfect in your own exact way, and no matter how you look, no matter how smart you are, no matter about anything at all, other than the fact that you were made by God, and you are worthy simply because you are here.  

It’s not about settling for one thing in life—bouncing around from one thing to the next is not really that bad: do as many things as you’d like. There is no reason you can’t change your mind and quit whatever you are doing in the middle of it, to turn around and start doing something else completely different. Why finish something if it just feels like it’s dragging you down? I have learned to just stop and access, and say, “This isn’t bringing me happiness, and I can’t afford to waste any more time of this precious life on this any longer,” and quitting it as soon as I can. It’s not called being a quitter, it’s called being smart and choosing what you spend your time on wisely.

The truth is that we are put on this earth to be happy. We are given trials, yes, but they are here for us to learn from, to help us grow wiser, to make us stronger, and to make the good times better.

I am grateful that this trial of mine was given to me at the time it was. And that every second of pain, suffering, and sweat happened with God by my side.

Moving Forward

I started my new protocol today, of killing off the bad guys that have put up camp inside me. I will continue with my detox baths, sauna, healthy eating, and the like. I hope to start doing 20 minutes of healing yoga, qi gong or snowshoeing per day—something that won’t break me down.

At this very moment though, it is getting late, so off to bed for me! I have work at 7:45 tomorrow morning, so goody-dum-day, I got to be a ‘going now.

Love,

Linnaia