Christmas...and a Love Story

Christmas is in the air! Just three weeks, and it’ll be here.

I have not done any Christmas shopping at all yet. Every year I say I’m going to start early and find things along the way—when they’re on sale and all that good stuff—but of course it never happens.

I’m sitting here at work listening to Christmas tunes, and I’m getting so excited for the day! When Christmas comes, that means New Year’s weekend follows, and that means all my wonderful gals will be up. They will be staying with us (Ava, Lisa and I) at our little apartment—of course.

One day last year, right before the New Year’s happenings, a bunch of us girls were over at Whitney’s and Amy’s apartment (they lived together at the time). Alissa’s laptop was just sitting there open on the table, so I just started writing a silly love story for her. I had so much fun writing it (did I ever mention I’m a little strange?) and so I have been writing love stories for my friends ever since.

Here’s one such story I wrote, for my cousin Annette. Beware of the extreme exaggeration in certain places that may be present in the story.

Annette’s Love Story

Once upon a time there was a girl named Annette. She was a tall beauty with a slim model figure and long, gorgeous, blond hair. She had blue-green eyes flecked with gold, which became really blue or strikingly green depending on her mood. Boys turned to stare everywhere she went, ogling her with no shame. They just couldn’t help it.

Annette had met many guys, and random crushes came and went. But nothing was ever serious, despite her many male friends. She was just waiting for the right guy. Like duh, who isn’t.

It was a crisp September day and Annette was in the beloved U.P. for the weekend. As a photographer, it was necessary to travel every now and then to shoot weddings and special occasions. Her remarkable work was in great demand, and so here she was for another wedding to shoot.

Of course she stayed at the Ava-Linnaia-Lisa apartment. I mean, why not stay where it’s like a grand resort? She thought. Nothing’s better than an apartment floor. They loved having her and the other girls over, so she knew she was welcome whenever her heart desired to vacay up north.

“Shiiioooot, no kyds again!” One of the girls grumbled. “Church parking lot again. Oh well, pile in the car, gals!”

Into the car they stacked, and to the parking lot they went, jammin’ all the way.

“This is so immaculate perniciously irritating that they never have judicious discriminating sanitary kyds when you guys are fricken up,” said Annika, in her typical trying to sound smart but failing badly way.

“I know, why is that?” Annette wondered.

“No absolute clue, the cuticles of my brain are compensated in confusion-ous perception.” Annika replied.

“Yeah…I totally get you.” Said Annette.

They whipped into the parking lot, tires screeching and burning rubber.

“WOULD YOU SLOW DOWN, ALISSA!” Lisa shrieked.

“There’s a cop!” Linnaia yelled.

“Where???!!!” Alissa immediately slowed down to 2 miles per hour, practically flipping the car. Everyone lurched forward at the sudden cut in speed.

“No fricken anywhere, I was just saying that,” said Linnaia irritated, picking herself up off the floor.

“Oh,” said Alissa. “Well in that case” and she immediately started doing donies in the parking lot, missing cars by millimeters.

“We need to get out of here before we all die,” said Annette. “I’m just not used to this.”

“Oh I am,” said Ava, sitting back relaxed. “This is just normal. Wait ‘til she gets crazy.”

Meanwhile Linnaia was hunched in the back seat with her arms over her head. “God, please save us all!” She yelped as Alissa left a green stripe on the nearest car.

When the extravaganza was finally over, everyone let go of their death grips and sprung the doors open and tumbled out onto the cement. They lay there quivering and gasping for breath as they ordered their limbs to stop shaking.

“Anyone want a circus peanut?” Alissa asked, oblivious to everyone’s obvious distress.

“Alissa, your tires are going bald. I can see the wires,” said Lisa, spread eagle on the ground, her face resting next to the front tire.

“Oh that’s dumb. I have skittles if you guys would rather have those.” Alissa held up the bag in offering.

“I think you need to buy more expensive insurance,” said Annette, finally getting the strength to get up off the road. She stumbled off on wobbly limbs, anxious to forget the nightmarish ride.

She wasn’t sure exactly where to go, but she saw a group of kids up ahead around a few scattered cars.

“Oops, crap, sorry, didn’t mean to do that,” she said, bumping into a broad back made of solid steel. She fell back onto her butt, still feeling slightly discombobulated from getting all spun up in Alissa’s crazy contraption.

The solid back belonged to a dude wearing a grey zip up hoody, the hood up and the strings dangling down the sides. He had turned around and was staring at her as she sat there on the ground.

“Like yeah, maybe give me a hand or something?” Annette said, reaching a hand up.

Dude of Steel immediately came to life. He dove down, offering his big, strong hand, and placed his other hand on her back. He basically lifted her right off the ground as he helped her up, then held her longer than necessary.

“You steady?” he asked a little huskily.

“Oh yeah, never been better,” Annette replied, staring into his eyes.

He. Was. Gorgeous.

Sandy blond hair curled out around his hood, and bright blue eyes seemed to search her soul. He wasn’t stocky, more slim and a head taller than her. He just ensued strength, and despite his layers of clothing, you could see the chiseled muscle through his sleeves. Annette guiltily wondered what his abs looked like. She was certain they were a sight to behold.

“Good.” He said in a soft, slightly gravelly voice. They had each other’s full attention, like total awareness or something.

There was something about him Annette just couldn’t totally define. He had an unruly, defiant air about him, but she liked it. He leaned his back up against a red truck that was parked next to him and shoved his left hand into his jean pocket. With the other, he slapped the truck next to him and said, “Come here, babe.”

“I’m not your babe.”

He laughed a bit. “Sorry, didn’t actually mean to say that. Wouldn’t mind if you were though, I like your spunk.”

He raised his eyebrows in question and put an arm out toward her, invitingly.

Oh darn, she couldn’t keep her reserve up for longer than a second. She sidled up to him and leaned against the truck next to him. He moved to fill the gap between them. Annette could feel her cheeks grown warm, and was glad for the darkness. Didn’t need a tomato face now. He could still see her blush though, and thought she was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen.

“Do you hang out with random girls a lot?” Annette asked him.

“None that I want to. They are always chasing me down, though.” He grinned wickedly.

“Oh sure. What an ego.” She looked up at him and nudged him in the ribs with her elbow.

He stood up and turned toward her, leaning an arm on either side of her. 

Annette’s breath caught in her throat. She struggled to breath.

“I feel the same way, Sugah,” he said to her, noticing her reaction.

She couldn’t help it. She reached up and put a hand behind his head, and mussed up his hair with the other hand. He started playing with her hair, and she felt like she could die of excitement. They talked for quite a while in soft voices, hers high, and his low and gravely.

 Just kiss me already, she thought.

It was as if he had read her mind. He lowered his head to hers, just as a car pulled up and shown its lights on them. His lips were a millimeter away from hers when he reared back, extremely pissed off.

“Oh, what the heck, dude?” Hotty turned toward the car, as a couple guys jumped out. “Can’t you see I’m busy?”

The boys laughed raucously. Annette felt annoyed.

“Get out of here, you brilliant potato heads,” Hot Dude said, knocking one of the boys on the shoulder. Annette could tell he was infuriated. His eyes were considerably darker. He was like, seriously, so hot.

“Dang, who you got there?” One of the boys asked, his face extremely jealous.

“If you don’t bust it now, I’m gonna poke your honker ‘til it’s flattened like the rest of your face. Now move it!” Hot Man was sizzling now.

“Fine, just chill bro…” said the boy, backing away with his hands in the air. 

The two boys scrambled into the car as fast as they could, and squealed backwards before they even slammed their doors.

Hotty turned toward Annette. “Wanna go for a ride?” he asked, sauntering back toward her. He tugged a piece of her long hair, and let it slip through his fingers. Gosh darnit, she was smokin’.

“I might possibly be able to fit that in tonight,” said Annette.

He grabbed her hand and lead her to the passenger door of the truck. He put his hand on the door handle, ready to open.

“Password,” he said, looking at her expectantly.

“Um, I don’t know…Big Red? Pig foot? Charlie Chaplin?” Annette guessed.

“Nope, it’s actually an action.”

“Ummm….do I have to dance or something?” she asked, confused.

“Ha, um yeah, you could do that too,” he said, liking the sound of that.

Annette crossed her arms. “Come on, just tell me what I’m supposed to do!”

“Kiss me.”

Annette stood on her tip toes and raised her head to him.

“Crap, you’re too tall. Help me out!” she feigned a pout, and punched him in the arm.

He picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He leaned his head to hers and….WOW. Annette’s world stopped. She felt a lightning bolt of electricity jolt through her, and her fingers tingled at the back of his neck.

“Holy sh*t, did you feel that?” he asked against her lips. She nodded, and then grew oblivious to the rest of the world and they continued with their lips locked together. He moved blindly with her around his truck, to the driver’s side, opened the door and together they tumbled in.

“Let’s get outta here,” he said, shifting gears as if his life depended on it.

They were sitting in the Apple Bees parking lot, talking and you-know-whating. They had come to go in for a date, but they just couldn’t make themselves get out of the truck.

“Oh, ditch Bees, I’m more in the mood for something else. I got fire wood in the back if you wanna go make a fire somewhere…”

Annette could think of nothing better than sitting next to a fire with Hot Dude’s arm around her.

“Sounds awesome,” she said, giving him a dazzling smile.

He shifted, backed up, then BANG! CHUGGA-CHUGGA…CLANG!!

He had been too caught up in Annette’s smile that he had backed right up into a street light. It had busted right where he hit it, and the top had toppled into his pickup.

“Oops,” he said, and gunned it.

They whipped out of the lot, nearly creaming a wimpy little grandma car. A police car popped out of nowhere, and snapped his lights on. The siren squealed.

“Oh, quit your squeekin’,” he said to the cop car whirring behind him.

He floored the gas, crunched on the break, and then burned it again. The lamp pole sticking out of the back of the truck careened forward, smashed the back of the cab, and then sailed out the back, landing squarely on top of the cop car. Of course the cop went skidding into the ditch, then lurched to a stop.

Hot Dude and Annette were long out of sight by then.

He had turned up toward A-Mine, and in minutes they were pulling into a deserted field. He discontinued the truck.

Silence.

“You’re probably think I’m a stupid-dimwit-A hole-jerkish-foolish-brute of a shallow hollowed out butt head, but—I’m usually not.” He looked at her, his eyes all apologetic. “I’m sorry if I can’t think clearly when I’m with you.”

Annette took his hand—his big strong hand—in hers.

“Darnlin’, I don’t care what you do, as long as you love me.”

He pulled her closer.

“I’ll love you forever and always, gorgeous.”

They lived happily ever after, and had many more exciting getaways together.

THE END.

Thanks for stopping by!

Love,

Linnaia